organized chaos

And now, a word from our host,

Rod Serling.

Good Evening, Folks. Due to the fact that we have Nike as a sponsor for our show tonight, we’ve weaved a tale for you about a special breed of people. We peek into the life of one girl, one friendly cashier, for one single night.

We step inside her head, if you will, to see her reaction when confronted with the odd reality of a people who choose to wear eyewear so bizarre that even this friendly girl is taken aback.

We pose the questions, that if you are usually a friendly person, and someone with these eyes walked up to your register, and stared down deep into your soul,

Would you be alarmed?

Would you pontificate all over to your co-workers later about how swell this person was because he chose to wear red eyes?

When you were told that they were merely a futuristic device to block out the hazardous rays of the sun, would you believe it?

Especially since this person was wearing them at night?

Would you ignore the spine tingling chill that threatened to invade your nervous system?

Would you get visions and flashes of hooded peoples chanting dark chants of mysterious origins?

Would you do your level best to not look into this person’s eyes, only to find yourself doing that very thing? As if they held some magnetic force that threatened to draw you in?

Or would you suspect that you had, indeed run into a small sect of aliens come to your friendly market for the purpose of collecting humanoid specimens, and his eye rested on you?

Either way, you would indeed wonder, as our friendly cashier does, if she had stepped into

The Twilight Zone.

And now a word from our sponsor.

For previous episodes, you can look here.

(disclaimer: all references to Nike are merely for your entertainment purposes. No monies were exchanged to the author or to Rod Serling or to the Friendly Cashier. Just thought you’d like to know where to find the creepy alien eyes.)

And now a word from our host, Rod Serling.

Good Evening. Tonight’s episode is so full of harrowing shock that one has to ask the question: What does one do when confronted with such abnormal circumstances?

Imagine a place. Not just any place. But a place filled with happiness and bliss. Peace and harmony. Three squares a day. A family, just living out the dream.

Then imagine what happens when someone in that family performs an everyday task and something goes awry.

Something as simple as flipping this switch

and hearing a distant meow.

You might wonder if you were hearing things and shake your head and go along your way. But then you remember, you own this

An innocent child’s toy. A plaything meant to bring enjoyment and pleasure turned evil.

Yes, it’s missing pieces. The rooster, the duck, gone. Could that be why the magnetic pieces cry out when the light switch is flipped?

Or does this unlikely character have anything to do with it?

He may look cute and innocent, but is he actually holding a grudge for his puzzle counterpart that can’t be found, that he must mew everytime this light switch is flipped?

And then we’ll watch as the family tries to grapple with the paranoia of this guy chiming in

whenever this switch is flipped.

Is it a cacophony of animal sounds? Is it a prank played by the gods? Is it a magnetic disturbance so great that the earth is about to crack open and blow up hatches on long lost islands, throwing the plane wrecked inhabitants into chaos?

Or is it just another trip

into

The Twilight Zone?

for more Twilight Zone episodes click here.

And now a word from our host,

Rod Serling.

Good evening. On tonight’s episode we ask the question, “Is there any merit to the old stories about the mysteries surrounding cats?” We’ll explore the old superstition that you just can’t get rid of a cat.

We’ll meet a nice girl

who like any nice girl, just wants a clean smelling house.

So imagine her disgust when she finds out her jerk of a cat has urinated in and around various places in her humble abode.

We’ll surely find out if that old adage is true when she throws that jerk of a cat outside once and for all and starts to unassumingly enjoy the smell of a clean laundry room instead of a laundry room that stinks of cat box and feces.

It’s a gruesome tale we have to spin tonight, folks.

Because imagine this nice girl’s surprise to find this jerk of a cat lurking around the house every time she turns around. She knows she threw him out. Several times, she’s sure of it.

So we beg to ask the question, “How is it, that the cat is napping in luxury right by the computer desk where she types?” or “How is it, that the cat is lazily walking through the kitchen like he owns the joint, when surely he must know by now that he will be an outside cat?”

Is it magic? Voo doo of the blackest sort? A secret cat door that only appears in 95 degree weather? An ability that only the jerkiest of cats possess to walk through walls?

But wait! Could it be the gremlins that reside with the nice girl? The ones who stand in the 95 degree heat with the screen door wide open?

We’ll let you decide if we have indeed, entered

The Twilight Zone

And now, our host for tonight’s episode: Rod Serling.

Good Evening. In tonight’s show we’ll meet a family. An normal everyday family. An unsuspecting family. A family who just wanted a dog to love. Not having much money, they opted for the easy road.

So tonight we’ll explore the question: What does free get you in the end?

Does it get you an unexpected blessing of a lifelong companion who fetches your slippers and newspaper each morning?

Does free get you a guardian against those who wish to harm your family?

Does free get you a highly intuitive pal, who just might drive you to the airport when all your human friends back out on you at the last minute?

Or do you, in fact, get what you pay for…

A trip to the Twilight Zone courtesy of your microcephalic *free* dog, who snarls, not when he’s mad, but when he’s in trouble.

And now, our host, Rod Serling.

Good Evening. On tonight’s episode we’ll meet a girl. Not just any girl, but one with extraordinary qualities. A girl, who from a very young age won over the world with her talent. We’ll meet Charlotte.

The voice of an angel, the face of a cherub. She had everything going for her. But age has a way of tempting us. Of changing us. Of deceiving us into walking through doors that we would otherwise never walk through. Charlotte did just that. She walked through a door one night…

and into The Twilight Zone. *cue creepy music*

Normal Charlotte:

Charlotte caught in The Twilight Zone

I was diagnosed with narcolepsy about 6 years ago. I’ve spent much of my life in and out of the Dr. trying to find out why I was so tired all the time as a kid and then as an adult. It was a relief to know.

Occasionally this disorder grants me a trip into the Twilight Zone. We’re talking hallucinations in the middle of the night, paralysis when I wake up, talking in my sleep, and yes, laughing in my sleep.

That last one doesn’t happen too often, but when it does, it’s quite a ride. Any time I talk or vocalize in any way while sleeping gives me a certain sensation that usually wakes me up somewhat. Last night, My Man shook me awake while I was having this dream. When I woke up enough I remember the laughter caught in my throat finally made it’s way to the surface and I started cracking up.

He asked what was wrong, so I guess it didn’t sound like laughter to him at first. He said he thought I was having one of my “freak outs.” That’s a nice scientific term for it. Before I knew it, I was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down my face and I could scarcely breathe.

Of course he wanted to know what I had been dreaming about. After a full five minutes of laughter I tried to eek out something about me and Bon Jovi fighting Karate style and how I was using raw slabs of red meat to throw at him in between the match (for extra leverage, I guess), and the sound of the meat on the sidewalk, thwap!, was just too much, and I started to crack up. That’s what he heard when he tried to wake me up.

Usually when I try to portray what I had been laughing at, it makes no sense to him or me, and he usually questions to himself what he got into with this marriage ten years ago, and exactly what kind of lunatic did he vow to spend his life with anyway?

But when I finally caught my breath, because I really could not stop giggling, and told him, “You probably don’t think that’s very funny,” he said, “No, that’s pretty funny.” I’m sure he actually meant what I was doing was funny. Not ha ha funny, but “maybe I should call the mental hospital funny.” “Or perhaps I should slip her a prozac funny.” “Or maybe I should just sleep in another bed funny.” Who knows?

Equally disturbing is having a dream so intense, I cry in my sleep also. I’ve woke up with tears streaming down my face and a sense of sorrow so intense, I was sure the dream had been real. Personally, I prefer the laughter. Whether or not that grants me permanent residence in Rod Serling’s tv show, well that is up to you to decide.

If you heard some of the things my gremlins say here at home, you might be concerned.

The other night Jackelope was reading/looking at one of his favorite books about a monkey named Pippo by Helen Oxenbury . Great little books about a little boy and his stuffed monkey and his mum and dad. I’m pretty sure it takes place in England.

So in a British accent, behind the cover of the book, Jackelope says, “Pippo’s dad is going to die.”

I don’t think I’ll comment on that.

Then this morning Commando Demando came out of the kitchen and made a comment about my Robin Hood brand flour. They sell this at Walmart. It’s a giganto size bag for those with enough Swedish blood to make one feel that they need to spend their whole day making breads and fattening cinammon rolls.

She joked, “That flour must be made out of Robin Hood.”

Yep, she knows about flour being the product of something ground up. So naturally she assumed it was the leader of the merry men. Good times.