This last weekend I was thrown into the duty of the service desk at work, much like if you were to throw a toddler into a pond and say, “There you go! Now swim!”

Honestly I did ok for not having a clue and people were nice. And that is using the term loosely since I found that people at the service desk are NOT as friendly as the people who usually come through my line as a cashier. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that they are skeptical if I’m going to refund their money on that cracked toilet seat without a receipt.

So since I was such a busy girl this weekend, I thought this headline was appropriate:

The Busy Girl’s Beauty Guide

1. Sleep is for sissies. The Busy Girl should dupe her doctor into giving her a prescription for Ritalin and then couple that with caffeine. If jitters are a problem, just keep moving at insane speeds. Everything looks better in a blur. And your hair will flow behind you like a model with a wind fan.

2. Who has time to shave? Just let the hair grow for a week and say it’s trendy in Europe.

3. If you want to shorten your time in the shower, have kids. After that, you will never shower or bathe for longer than five minutes. If that. Sometimes Rinse and Repeat is all you need. Soap dries your skin out anyway.

4. Lipstick is only good for writing mean notes on the bathroom mirror to your spouse. You will be much better at making the scary face at your gremlins without it.

5. Worried about those extra pounds? Make sure your baby only sleeps for an hour at a time during the day, and his room is up a flight of stairs. Resist the urge to put him in a pack n play downstairs for your ease. He won’t like it anyway and it’s too noisy for him to sleep. This way, you will get plenty of exercise running to and fro up the stairs all the live long day.

And that’s all. After all, I’m busy!!