organized chaos

For some reason I’ve got the Beatles tune “Yesterday” playing over and over in my head this morning.  Contrary to those lyrics, my troubles did not seem so far away yesterday.  (refer to previous post)

Sad to say, but the day, while looking like it might straighten itself out, in fact did not.  Someone gave my children water after midnight on Sunday because all three of them were Gremlins.  And if you’ve seen that movie, you’ll know what I mean when I say this: if they were gremlins, then I was their leader, Stripe.  Remember the really mean, ugly leader?  Yep, that was me yesterday. 

I started out nice, maybe not cuddly, but nice, and boom. The wrong string of events happened and well, maybe you know the rest.

I’ve been re-reading Brennan Manning’s The Ragamuffin Gospel lately, so forgive me if I quote alot from that book.  So I came across this nifty quote:

“French philosopher Maurice Blondel said: ‘If you really want to understand a man, don’t just listen to what he says but watch what he does.’”

OUCH.  What would people understand about me, while watching.  You know, there was a time when I had no grace for myself and would break under the burden of guilt after a day like yesterday.  But now, I can honestly say “Yes, I was a gremlin yesterday.  But a few days ago, I was not.  In fact if someone were to watch what I do, they would see a very human acting person.  They would see someone who is fun at times, moody at times, contemplative at times, tired most of the time, someone who has enough grace in her life to make mistakes and move on, the better for them.”

Here’s the next part in that book:

“One of the mysteries of the gospel tradition is this strange attraction of Jesus for the unattractive, this strange desire for the undesirable, this strange love for the unlovely.  The key to this mystery is, of course, Abba.  Jesus does what He sees the Father doing, He loves those whom the Father loves.”

What more can I say after that.